The Book I Wish I’d Had: Why It Took Me Ten Years to Write Raising Truth Seekers
by Barbara Rolen, Program Director, Serenity Retreat
Ten years ago, God gave me a dream.
He wanted me to help parents weave Transformation Prayer Ministry, this beautiful process we use at Serenity Retreat, into their everyday parenting and family rhythms. To show them how running to Jesus with struggles could become as natural as breathing in their homes.
But here’s the thing: I wasn’t ready yet.
I was still holding onto way too many lies.
The Lies I Didn’t Know I Believed
For decades, anxiety and fear plagued me. They colored everything: my relationships, my parenting, my view of God Himself. What I didn’t realize was that I’d picked up lies as a child. Lies like “I’m worthless.” “I’m unlovable.” “I’m defective.”
The really insidious part? I had no idea these lies were running my life. I didn’t even know I believed I couldn’t trust God.
But when I finally got to the end of myself—when I cried out to Him that I was just done with this way of living—He met me there. And He brought Transformation Prayer Ministry (TPM) into my life.
One by one, He’s been replacing those lies with His truth—His perspective.
That’s what TPM is, really. It’s a process where we meet God in our pain, and He brings truth that sets us free as it says in John 8:32, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” TPM is simply a very effective way to cooperate with God and receive His truth—the kind that reaches down into the hidden places where we’ve been believing things that aren’t true, but we’ve been living life as if they were true.
Imagine growing up believing you’re unlovable. You might spend your life jumping through hoops so others will love you and not reject you. Maybe you can see how it would be extremely hard to believe that God loves you, if in the core of your being, you believe the totally opposite?
Even my husband’s death became part of this transformation journey. God used everything in my TPM sessions—the grief, the questions, the wrestling—to help me see things through His eyes instead of through the filter of my lies or limited perspective.
All of that has led to the birth of Raising Truth Seekers.
The Moments I Couldn’t Help My Kids
You know what I remember most about parenting young children? The helplessness.
When my kids were fighting or melting down, I didn’t know how to help them process what they were really feeling. I’d try to fix it, manage it, redirect it, but I couldn’t actually help them get to the root of what was happening inside.
And the reason was painfully simple: I didn’t know how to do it myself.
I didn’t know how to name my own emotions, trace them back to the beliefs driving them, or run to Jesus for His perspective in those moments. So how could I possibly teach my children to do it?
This is the book I wish I’d had as a young mom.
Not another book telling me what I should be doing, but one that showed me how transformation actually works—in me first, and then in my family. Because here’s what I’ve learned: we can’t give our children what we don’t have ourselves.
What We’re Really After
What we’re really after as parents is raising kids with deeply rooted faith—the kind that holds when life gets hard. The kind that doesn’t crumble when they face disappointment, rejection, or suffering. The kind of faith that is actually strengthened in the hard times each time the Lord persuades a family member’s heart of His truth.
And that can happen when we create a family culture where running to Jesus with struggles is just part of how we do life.
Not someday. Not when they’re older. Not when we finally get our act together.
Right now, in the carpool line, in the meltdowns and the middle-of-the-night worries.
TPM can happen anywhere: in traffic, before a hard conversation, in the moment your teenager slams the door. It’s like getting in the express lane with God. It takes you straight to the root of what’s really going on, instead of just managing the surface symptoms.
When Kids See It Work
I love what a dad in West Virginia shared with me. His teenage daughter was skeptical at first about this whole TPM thing. (Teenagers, right?) But after receiving truth from God in a TPM session with her dad, she yelled through the house: “Hey sis, Dad’s not crazy! This thing really works!”
That’s the dream, isn’t it? Raising kids who actually want to bring their struggles to God; who know how to meet Him in their pain instead of numbing it, fixing it, or running from it.
Esa and Conor George are a young Canadian couple I interviewed for my book. I recall Esa as a student in our training course asking questions about how to use TPM with children. I was delighted to discover that they are figuring it out in real time. Esa told me that they don’t typically sit down for a formal prayer session in their home. It happens right in the middle of the kitchen with the family all around. What a way to model running to Jesus when your emotions reveal you are not seeing things the way God sees them.
Conor said that TPM has made him more curious in the moment. Now he asks himself, “Why am I so upset right now? What’s really behind this feeling?” He’s even learned to name what’s happening inside, saying to his family, “I’m feeling this right now. It’s not anyone’s fault—I just want to be honest.” That awareness helps him pause before reacting. He recognizes that his emotions might not reflect the full truth. Instead of rushing to fix things, he makes space for God to bring His perspective. What a beautiful way Conor is learning to shepherd his family so that his children grow up knowing there is only one thing to do when life gets hard: run to Jesus.
This is generational transformation.
It Starts With Us
Here’s what I know after years of doing this work: the fruit of TPM is real, lasting transformation.
As prayer ministers at Serenity, we get a front-row seat to these stories. We watch someone walk into a prayer session carrying years of anxiety or depression—and then watch them leave with a different countenance. One hour with the Lord brings more breakthrough than years of trying to fix themselves.
But it starts with us experiencing it first.
Our kids won’t learn to run to God with their struggles if they never see us do it. They won’t know how to receive truth from Him if we’re not modeling what that looks like. They won’t develop the habit of bringing their emotions to Jesus if home isn’t a safe place to name what they’re really feeling.
Raising Truth Seekers is not a how-to book of Transformation Prayer Ministry but rather my invitation for you to prayerfully consider creating a family culture where meeting Jesus in the hard moments, for the purpose of gaining His perspective, becomes just part of how you do life together. You’ll read testimonies of parents and grandparents who have learned to incorporate TPM as a lifestyle in their families.
Your Turn
What lies might you be believing right now—about yourself, about God? What would it look like to run to Him with those struggles instead of trying to manage them on your own?
At Serenity Retreat we’d love to walk with you on that journey. Because the truth really does set us free and that freedom is the greatest inheritance we can pass on to our children.
Want to be the first to hear when Barbara’s new book Raising Truth Seekers releases? Grab your free Family Faith Talk at PursueAbundantLife.com, you’ll be added to her list for early updates, sneak peeks, and more!
At SerenityRetreat.com you can schedule a prayer session, request information about a retreat in Bellville, TX, or register for TPM 101, the first step in our TPM training.
Raising Truth Seekers will be released this fall in its entirety. For anyone who commits to a monthly pledge in October 2025, you can request a copy of the 25th Anniversary Special Release (limited quantity).
